“We will send word to the dwarves and all the elven. But tonight we rest, we will start the preparations first thing in the morning.” The elder said as she climbed on the platform. “Good night my children, sleep well it will be a long day tomorrow.”
All the elven people walked away whispering and looking back at me with smiles on their faces. I turned to Faeron and he wrapped his arms around my waist with his hands clasped on my lower back and kissed me.
“I love you.” I said when he pulled away.
“I need to talk to you my dear.” The elder said before Faeron could get a word out.
“Ok we can speak now if you want.” I stated.
“We should go somewhere private.” she said looking back and forth from me and Faeron to Jarret and Denyse.
“They come with.” I demanded fully knowing that she wanted me to leave them behind.
“Very well, follow me.” She said leading us to the house at the very end of the city and opening the door for us to go in.
“Now what is it that we need to speak about?” I asked.
“Well with you being the queen we cannot allow you to go out to fight.” She started.
“No, I will not sit on the sidelines while people die for me.” I interrupted as I turned away from her angry that she would even suggest that. “That is not going to happen while I am still breathing.”
“But if you die what will be the point in starting a war?” She asked.
“I will not die, I never die.” I snapped at her getting irritated.
“But…” she started.
“No I am not going to make more people suffer because of me; it is one thing if I am fighting with them but I will not make them fight for me; they are my people not my slaves.” I interrupted getting angrier with every word.
“Well I do not want an argument so we will at least have people protecting you during the battle.” She stated.
“I do not need to be…” I got out before Faeron covered my mouth.
“That will be fine.” He answered right before I pushed his hand away from my mouth.
“I have to go somewhere tomorrow I need to get up pretty early is this all we needed to talk about?” I asked folding my arms over my rib cage.
“No, I do not know if you aware of this but you have to marry before you can be queen rightfully.” She stated.
“Eloan’s not married so how did she pull it off?” I asked.
“She killed her husband.” She stated bluntly.
“Ok well after the war Faeron and I will just…” I started.
“No, you do not understand; you do not get to choose, your parents are supposed to arrange it at birth but you were not the heir to the throne then.” She stated.
“Then who chooses?” I asked watching Faeron as he grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed lightly.
“It will be the person that the queen and king chose for their daughter that you will have to marry.” She answered.
“I will not, I cannot…” I stuttered and then ran out of the door crying but not sure if it was from anger or the sadness I felt right then.
It felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart a bunch of times and then put all their body weight on my chest. Right then I did not know where to turn or where to go even. I had never felt like that before and I swear it would have felt better if someone had literally ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed it in their hand.
I ran all the way to mine and Marrialli’s house, not sure of where else I could go. I made it there by the next night and I ran to Marrialli’s grave and just fell to the ground crying. I knew I still had to do this for the sake of my people, for the sake of the kingdom but what about me. In the end I knew what it was going to come too. I would be left unhappy for the sake of my kingdom but why could it not be changed why did I have to be the queen, They could have someone else be queen. I did not want to be the queen anyways.
I sat there and cried until I fell asleep where I lied. When I woke up the sky was just barely turning light blue. Faeron was there and I was covered with his shirt. He was sitting at my feet and from the way he looked he had been crying too probably as much as I had. There was a horse tied up to a tree. There was a fire going and Faeron just stared into it for a while.
“You know, I do not like this either.” He said in a soft voice. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I cannot do this if it means I have to be with someone that is not you.” I answered as a lump formed in my throat and it got hard to speak.
“You’ll have to.” He answered. “But I will never leave your side, unless you want me to leave.” He added glancing down at the ground.
“I will never want you to leave.” I said as I sat up and leant against him, my heart breaking as I did. “I cannot stand this!”
He put his arm around my shoulder and held me close to him. I could not help it as the tears started flowing out of my eyes again. I put my head against his chest and he started running his fingers through my hair. We stayed there all day and I cried most the time. I was grateful that he was there for me even though I hated him seeing me cry like I was. Before we left to go back to the elven camp I made my way back to what used to be my room.
I grabbed the armor that Marrialli gave to me for my sixteenth birthday and put it on. It was a mythril top that came only down to the bottom of ribcage it was low cut and the sleeves were thin and made out of leather so I could move easier. The bottom was a skirt that was slit up to my thighs on each side. The top four inches maybe five were made out of leather. It was armor definitely fit for a princess, as Marrialli put it when she gave it to me. Putting the armor on brought back memories of my sixteenth birthday but I did not cry, for once I just smiled.
I walked out of the house and Faeron just stared at me for a minute. He then came up to me and kissed me, pulling me in close to him at the same time. He embraced me for a while and it felt wonderful. He kissed my forehead and then let go of me hesitantly. He helped me up onto the horse and then climbed on behind me. It was a gloomy ride back to the elven camp but I cherished every minute of it. When we got there the elder came walking up to us and I just walked inside Sohn’s house before she could say anything to me.
“Are you going to be alright?” Neinna asked when she saw the look on my face.
“I love him and I cannot be with him.” I stated as I sat on the couch and buried my face into my hands. “It is not fair. I would give the life I live and the air I breathe just to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“I am so sorry dear.” She said as she came and sat on the couch next to me and put her arm around my shoulders.
“What is the point in living if your entire world is ripped away from you?” I asked. “How can I love another when I have already met the love of my life?”
“You cannot.” She started.
“But you can always tolerate another.” The elder said as she walked in the door. “I see you already have armor so you will not have to be fitted for it.”
“I hate this place.” I muttered as I got up and walked into Faeron’s room and closed the door behind me.
I did not come out of his room for three days and no one bothered going in there, not even Faeron which really bothered me because all I wanted was him. I wanted him to go in there and start kissing me or lie on the bed with me even but he did not. I cried most of the time I was in there. I had taken the necklace that he gave me off and I was just holding it and staring at it. I hated what I had to do to keep my people safe and it was breaking my heart. I did not sleep much at all either.